Giving feedback well
Have you ever thought of how much is at stake in our daily communication instances? I would say a lot.
What else if not exactly those tiny pieces of human interaction that impact so powerfully the quality of our relationships? Let alone when you have some sort of criticism in your pocket that you want to share with your counterpart! So it matters a lot how you give feedback to others.
But here is the problem: giving feedback well is still a challenge for most of us. Typically we are either very indirect/soft or too direct in our communication. How can we improve then?
Watch this great video in which LeeAnn Renninger shares a 4-part formula that you can use to say any difficult message well:
Then start practicing! Don’t get discouraged if your feedback giving initially is still not excellent. Go ahead, understand what went wrong and do it better next time!
So the 4 formulas are the following:
1. The micro-yes: It would be something like this: “Do you have five minutes to talk about how that last conversation went” or “I have some ideas for how we can improve things. Can I share them with you?” When you are soliciting a micro-yes statement, you are creating a buy-in situation for your feedback.
2. Data point: Here, you should name specifically what you saw or heard, and cut out any words that aren’t objective such as “You could be more proactive.”
3. Show impact: “Because I didn’t get the message, I was blocked on my work and couldn’t move forward”.
4. End on a question: “Well, how do you see it?” or “This is what I’m thinking we should do, but what are your thoughts on it?” This creates commitment rather than just compliance. It makes the conversation no longer be a monologue, but rather a joint problem-solving situation.